spring/
summer
2021
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a note from the editor

Whoever you are, wherever you are, welcome. I’m so grateful you are here.

My great-grandmother, pictured above with three of her children, turned 100 years old in 2020. 

She was born in Jamaica and gave birth to her four children there too — three sons and one girl. That girl, my grandmother, was one of her twins.

I took some time last month to call my nana, Edna, and my grandmother, Yvonne, and talk to them about what Nana remembers from her pregnancies and births.

What are some things you remember from your births in Jamaica?

‍Yvonne: Think back to when you had Neville, Mama.

‍Edna: Cheyenne wants me to tell her?

Yvonne: Mmhm.

‍Edna: Oh, oh boy I tell you, that was long and drawn out, ya know because the first child... with all that pain, we had no help — like here, people get help when they're having a baby — we just had to do it by ourselves. (laughs)

‍Did anyone come to the house?

‍Edna: We had people there, yeah.

‍Yvonne: Who was your midwife?

‍Edna: Miss Darcas was y'know —

‍Yvonne: Not really trained —

‍Edna: But they were good! When... I had Dougie first and then they said, there's another one!

‍Yvonne: How long were you in labor? Do you know?

‍Edna: It started in the morning — must be about the whole day.

Did you know you were having twins?

‍Edna: At that time we just guessed, you know. But I remember one day I laid on my back and I could feel that it was two! I could feel them (laughs), but still yet you didn't think it was so, until when they were born.

‍That's pretty amazing.

‍Edna: Yeah it was. And I had this girl named Sena working for me and she would pick up the one baby and walk up and down and sing. (laughs) Oh boy.

Yvonne: People — they just learn by probably watching other people do it...

‍Edna: Miss Darcas was a regular lady that helped you when you had your baby. But one of — I think Glen — had a trained nurse... I remember Miss Darcas — you know sometimes they were miles away... you call the midwife and she would come and help you... (laughs) They were good.

‍Yvonne: Well Cheyenne, you know a lot of people who worked in the field, sometimes they'd just have their baby right out there —

‍Edna: Right out there.

‍What did you do to take care of yourself after birth?

‍Edna: Nothing. Besides um...

Yvonne: Did you drink some bush tea?

‍Edna: I don't think so... We drink bush tea all the time. But um — we just, you have to realize that like me — who can afford it and live in good homes and all that, but you had poor people who just push out the baby where they are. My family can afford anything at that time out there, but you had people who didn't.

‍Yvonne: Like Miss Rosie — how did she manage?

‍Edna: Like my mother? Yeah, we just, you had country midwife, you know. They call that midwife, but they're just untrained — or they trained themselves over the years. I remember Miss Darcas, that come...

‍Yvonne: She had this woman who when Dougie and I were born, you know like... the one who would help you — if Dougie cried, she would take him up and rock him and then Dougie would stop crying and I would cry (laughs). So Mama had like a little nanny, you know, a young girl who would help her.

‍Edna: Yes that was Sena, that was Sena. But you know we were lucky that we could hire people, but you have some people who don't have any help. I had help where I could go to sleep and she would rock around with the baby when they cried.

‍That sounds like what I do... sometimes I stay with the baby so the parents can sleep.

Edna: Yeah, we had that too.

‍Yvonne: So Mama, Sena now was like a doula. Miss Darcas was the midwife—

‍Edna: And Sena was a doula... (pause) I just look right now and I remember when Yvonne was born...

‍Yvonne: And I remember when Glen was born. I was 10. I was at the door listening, waiting for them to open the door so I could see the baby (laughs).

‍Edna: Glen was like your baby.

‍Yvonne: Mmhm...

We chatted for nearly an hour — about cloth diapers, bush tea, and "pretty little clothes" that Nana made for her babies. 

Some things may have changed, but what never changes is where we've come from. In the world today — my grandmother, my mother, and me — we all lead back to Edna Miles, her mother Miss Rosie, and the mothers still before. All leading right here, to this very page.

Cheyenne Varner





‍
meg ross
@megrossphotography

content

Click the title to go to that section
Nourishing Herbs for Pregnancy
Five great herbs to add to your rotation from cup to plate.
The Field Guide to Having a Baby
There are so many people who can support you before, during, and after birth — here's a breakdown. 
Reggie Reflects on Pregnancy + Birth in 2020 
Plus five tips on parenting through a pandemic. 
Home, Birth Center, and Hospital Birth
An intro to what option fits you and stories from three parents.
Planning Ahead For Postpartum Finances
What you need to know to make a plan to fully fund your postpartum leave.
What's a Non-Lactating Parent To Do?
A few of the many ways to help with feeding a newborn.
A Full Day's Food: 3 Healthy Perinatal Meals
Delicious + nourishing meal options from breakfast to dinner.
7 Sleep Facts Every Parent Should Know
What's normal? And... how do we get more of it?
Postpartum Movement: How to Safely Return to Postpartum Exercise
A comprehensive look at the first six weeks + beyond.
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Contributors + More
brooke roberts photography
@brookerobertsphoto

Nourishing

Herbs for Pregnancy
When working with pregnant bodies it's important to understand that hydration, whole foods, and juicy fruits are the keys to a healthy pregnancy. The water content in nourishing herbal teas, fresh whole fruits, and green leafy vegetables will increase hydration in the body. Food is indeed good medicine. There's so much conflicting information on herbs in pregnancy but here are five great herbs to incorporate into your rotation from cup to plate.
alfalfa
is a nutrient-dense plant that contains calcium, iron, magnesium, phosphorous, trace minerals, chlorophyll, protein, and vitamins A, D, E, B6, and K. Great as an herbal tea infusion with other tastier herbs or in liquid chlorophyll drops.
rose hips
are the fruit of the rose and high in vitamin C, helping to support the circulatory and immune systems. This fruit is a great addition to your herbal tea infusions and a little tart on its own.
Dandelion Roots and Leaves
are rich in potassium, iron, Vitamin A, calcium, and protein. This is a great digestive tonic that provides liver support. Think herbal tea infusion with the roots or fresh dandelion greens in a salad or sautéed with other veggies.
lemon balm Leaves
support your nervous system, helping to calm your spirit, reduce tension, and promote digestion. This tasty herb is great in an herbal tea infusion by itself or paired with other herbs.
Nettles (or Stinging Nettles)
are packed with chlorophyll, vitamins (including Vitamin C), minerals, iron, and protein. This powerful plant supports liver and kidney health. You can sauté and eat like greens or create a nourishing herbal tea infusion. For those wishing to breast/chest feed this herb is great for encouraging milk production.
BY JOVAN SAGE | She/Her | Jovan Sage is a Fertility, Birth, Postpartum, and Sex Doula with the National Black Doulas Association, Maternal Support Practitioner with BeBoMia, and finishing her Women’s Herbal Educator certification under Dr. Aviva Romm, Herbalist, MD, Midwife. | IG @SagesLarder
sarah marquis
@orangepommephotographie

So you heard there's support out there, but from who exactly? And with what exactly? Get ready, here's your field guide to the many people who are here for you:
‍

getting pregnant
Reproductive endocrinologists
Great for: Addressing fertility issues through exploring connections to the endocrine system.
The endocrine system is largely tied to a person’s ability to conceive. If an individual is trying to get pregnant for more than a year, a reproductive endocrinologist may be the likely first professional to see. This physician will pinpoint what the possible issues could be, exploring the backgrounds of both parents and running tests to get information. From looking at thyroid issues to the reproductive organs, they can often supply the information needed to take next steps.
fertility doula
Great for: Extra support and information around starting or growing a family.
Fertility doulas support people who are ready to start families to explore their lifestyles, focus on their health, learn about the pregnancy journey, look at conception options, and address other needs based on what the parent or couple feels they need. Some fertility doulas help to-be parents develop mindfulness practices, detox the home, and more. 

for pregnancy + birth
birth doula
Great for: Providing informed, personalized, caring non-medical support.  
Doulas have become a valuable part of parent’s birth teams. From helping navigate the unexpected, to creating birth preferences, to support during labor, they are the "jacks of many trades" for pregnancy and birth. Some also specialize in areas such as nutrition, massage, herbalism, placenta encapsulation, and more. 
prenatal yoga instructor
Great for: Making the benefits of yoga safe and accessible in pregnancy.
Yoga provides valuable benefits for pregnant parents. It helps calm the mind, strengthen the pelvic floor, and improve sleep. But as the belly grows, “standard” yoga routines can become difficult to perform. Prenatal yoga instructors have expertise for birthing parents in all stages of pregnancy.
nutritionist
Great for: Helping parents make food choices that best fit their life and preferences.
Nutrition plays a large role in pregnancy. And just as with before and after the baby, there is no one-size-fits all meal plan. Each birthing parents has different needs and tastes, and can also get overwhelmed trying to figure it out on their own. Alleviate the stress and make your pregnancy yummy with expert guidance. 
massage therapist
Great for: “Me-time” and keeping the muscles and joints happy as your body adapts to a growing baby. 
Massage helps to reduce stress, loosen muscles that become contracted, and improve common pregnancy issues like restless sleep and hormone fluctuation. Prenatal massage therapists are specifically trained in techniques that are beneficial to pregnant body and avoid areas associated with pregnancy-related risks. 
midwife
Great for: Medical care during pregnancy and birth — especially for low-risk pregnancy and parents who prefer fewer interventions, birth centers, or home birth.
Highly skilled and specialized, some parents choose to work with a midwife for a “low tech, high touch” approach. Midwives are especially sought after for home births, water births, and birth center births. While they do not perform surgical interventions, they may work closely with OBGYNs when needed.
BRENDA AMAYA
@the_doulatog
obstetrician/gynecologist (obgyn)
Great for: Medical care for pregnancy and birth.
OBGYNs have extensive medical training to support all stages of pregnancy. They are equipped for medical interventions and surgical procedures such as abdominal birth. Birthing parents often work with an OBGYN at some stage of their journey regardless of how or where they plan to give birth.
maternal-fetal medicine (mfm) specialist
Great for: Medical care for pregnancy and birth — with a focus on chronic health conditions or high-risk issues in pregnancy.
Various circumstances can cause a pregnancy to be considered high risk such as carrying twins or a birthing parent’s medical history. MFM specialists have expertise to help navigate the journey of a high risk pregnancy and the many options and decisions that come with one.
chiropractor
Great for: Helping to address body pain and discomfort during pregnancy. 
Aches and pains are common during pregnancy. Chiropractic care is a safe, non-invasive approach that's appropriate for many. Results can include reduced stress, and improved labor and recovery experiences. It's most widely celebrated for reducing the dreaded back-related pains of pregnancy.
acupuncturist
Great for: Relieving discomfort related to pregnancy and easing stress about birth.
Acupuncture during pregnancy is known to ease back pain and “morning sickness” and may also help with sleep, tight muscles, and headaches. Some birthing parents begin acupuncture in the final trimester as to ease anxiety around labor and delivery.
pelvic floor therapist
Great for: Helping you to strengthen your pelvic floor, prevent related complications, and address pelvic floor disorders.
During pregnancy, a weak pelvic floor can lead to discomfort and incontinence. During labor, an inflexible pelvic floor can create challenges. After birth, these issues can lengthen and make recovery more difficult. Working with a pelvic floor therapist during pregnancy and after can prevent some of these problems and prepare the area for a possibly easier birth.

for postpartum
lactation consultant
Great for: All parents who have questions around breastfeeding or chestfeeding. 
Every baby is unique. Whether nursing the first or fourth baby, it's a learning process. Lactation consultants are trained to work with parents through challenges and help find solutions that best fit everyone's feeding needs. 
postpartum doula
Great for: Helping parents adjust to life with a new baby at home. 
The early months after birth can easily feel exhausting. These doulas help take the edge off — with support for healing from birth, new infant care skills and house chores. Some specialize in areas such as nutrition, lactation, and infant sleep. 
parent support groups
Great for: Getting emotional support and information from other parents who can relate with your parenting reality. 
Sometimes the most meaningful help is from parents who “get it.” Swapping notes can help practically and emotionally. There is an abundance of groups online geared to parents of many backgrounds and experiences.
LINDA JONES
@lindajonesphotography
infant sleep specialist
Great for: Learning various ways to support your baby to fall asleep on their own and develop a regular sleep schedule.
An infant’s sleep schedule can cause a lot of stress for the entire family. And as each family and baby is unique, so are the ways they best relax and develop a regular pattern. A sleep specialist learns about your family’s routine and suggests ways to help your baby cope and learn to love bedtime.
mental health specialist
Great for: Supporting parents in their new role and with the unexpected emotions that come with it.
Adding another member to the family comes with an entirely new way of living and an entire new set of responsibilities. The emotional weight of a parent’s new reality can be a lot to bear, from coping with stress to fears around measuring up. A mental health specialist will work closely with you to navigate this time. 
pediatrician
Great for: Periodic checkups for your infant and medical care as they grow up.
Many doctors recommend as many as seven pediatrician checkups during the first year of a baby’s life, so finding one that you work well with is important. A pediatrician can help watch for any health or development issues, diagnose problems, and answer your questions about your infant’s health and care.
Tell us about yourself + your family. What was pregnancy like for you?
My name is Regina or Reggie and I live with my husband MoRuf and our 8-month-old daughter Nova. My husband and I got married in September 2018 and we live in my childhood home on Long Island. I have worked in the tech industry and have been a doula over the past decade. I’m now focusing on being a mama and serving families through pregnancy, labor, and postpartum journeys as a doula. Pregnancy for myself was beautiful and enlightening. I loved being pregnant. Watching my belly grow, and feeling my daughter’s spirit inside of me was a very transformative experience. My husband and I were able to share this miracle of new life together and that was very cool.
What was a challenge that you faced during your pregnancy? How did you deal with it?
One challenge was that it was the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic. Being pregnant itself comes with some worry or fear many times. Add an unprecedented, history-making global catastrophe — yea, a little more stressful to say the least. Uncertainty at work, all of the unknowns and health fear for my family, myself, and the little baby that was growing inside of me was overwhelming at times. My blood pressure readings at appointments began to spike which caused concern for my midwife. I dealt with it by making conscious efforts to manage stress for the baby. She was my motivation to get it in check as much as I could by really letting go. 
What was something that gave you joy during your pregnancy?
The simple anticipation my husband and I had for her. Everyday I woke up I felt that “Christmas Day” feeling. We had this gift growing inside of me that brought us hope and joy- especially during such a whirlwind of a year (2020) My husband’s family is Nigerian and in their culture — the family members all give the baby a name that is announced on the 8th day of the baby’s life. My grandmother named her Joy. 
What traditions, if any, were important to you to incorporate or create in your pregnancy or postpartum?
We were planning to do a 100 day ceremony just because I thought it was a cool thing to incorporate into the pregnancy journey. However, we had to cancel because it was scheduled just days before lockdown. After Nova was born we did a naming ceremony over Zoom when she was 8 days old. Because of my husband’s Nigerian background it was very important for us to officially name our baby and announce her name to our community. 
What's something you would have liked to have known before birth?
For the birth itself, I felt like I honestly knew what I needed to know, which was just enough because all births are different and come with many different things. However, I do know now just how much perseverance is necessary when it comes to breastfeeding. My daughter latched on right away, she exclusively breastfed for six months, and she is still breastfeeding at eight months- however that came with a lot of challenges, support, and stick-to-it-ness. Because I don’t come from a breastfeeding family, and because the rates for Black breastfeeding in America are so low, I fell in that category of folks who just didn’t know too much about it. I got a milk fever a couple of times when my milk came in, had clogged ducts, and sore nipples. It wasn’t easy but so worth it and I am making it a priority to educate more people of color about what breastfeeding entails and how to manage issues that may arise. 
How would you describe your childbirth experience? 
Extremely difficult yet beautiful and transformative. Giving birth was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I had an induction as a precaution due to elevated blood pressure levels. I labored for 28 hours without pain medication and was able to push baby out in under 20 minutes. I didn’t go into labor with the mindset that anything had to be a certain way. I truly spent my pregnancy letting go of any attachments to any particular way my experience would be. I really just wanted to be healthy and alive and the baby to be healthy and alive. I had so many emotional breakthroughs during my childbirth experience. I feel very blessed to have had great memories about childbirth. I felt empowered and ridiculously strong after having Nova. 
BY REGINA ADEWUNMI| She/Her | A woman of faith, a wife + mom living in Long Island, NY. Birth and postpartum doula on a mission to spread the breastfeeding gospel, especially to families of color. | IG @nativefolk

Reggie's Top 5 Tips
for Parenting Through
the Pandemic

1

Use technology to connect
with family and friends if it isn’t safe to visit in person. It's good for parents and baby to talk to other people and actually see faces without masks! Nova enjoys smiling at friends over video — and actually being able to see the person smile back!
2

Go outside!
I struggled with feeling it was okay to go outside our first few months after birth. Even though there are literally only two people walking in our neighborhood at any time I had some fears. Eventually I realized that it is okay — it's even recommended for both of our physical and mental health!  
3

Do what works for you and your family.
And feel good about sticking to your rules. This applies always but especially now — from requiring Covid-19 tests before seeing the baby, to masks at all times, to wanting to breastfeed or extend breastfeeding — it's all up to you!
4

Lean into your village or support system.
This is a time where the whole world can relate in a way. It’s crucial to have a good support system to be there for you emotionally, and where it's safe- physically. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if needed.
5

Take lots of pictures and enjoy the moment! 
Try to tune out all of the news and tough things going on and enjoy your baby everyday. Every moment is new and can be exciting. It may not be easy but we don't get these moments back!
luz silva
@mintandcocoaphoto

Home, Birth Center,
and Hospital Birth


home
Does this fit me?
Those who choose home birth often trust their knowledge of their body and health needs, and may even feel uncomfortable with the traditional medical system and hospitals due to histories of racist and unjust practices.
What do I need?
A home birth kit. This usually includes basic supplies like chux pads, gloves, gauze, lubricating gel, bulb syringe, cord clamps, peri bottle, cleansing solution, and alcohol prep pads, among other items suggested by the Midwife.
Can I afford it?
Home birth expenses are often paid out of pocket and provide for the Midwife, Midwife’s Assistant, and any necessary supplies as dictated by the Midwife. Costs range from $1,500-$3,000.*
‍
birth center
Does this fit me?
Those who choose a birth center may be seeking a positive balance between birthing at home and birthing in a hospital. The birthing person likely wants a collaborative partnership and nurturing relationship with their Midwife, and is engaged in the decision-making process of their care.
What do I need?
An overnight bag with basic toiletries, and snacks or drinks, if desired.
Can I afford it?
Costs are different based on where you live and what’s available. On average, the cost ranges from $3,000-$6,800; some insurance companies may cover a portion of the expenses.**
‍
hospital
Does this fit me?
Many people give birth in the hospital because they trust the traditional medical system as the authority on pregnancy and childbirth, have what’s considered a high-risk pregnancy, or want to go where their Midwife or OB always attends births.
What do I need?
Hospital pre-registration paperwork, your insurance card, your ID, and baby’s car seat installed. A hospital bag packed with basic 2-3 days of overnight toiletries, and other items to make the space comfortable.
Can I afford it?
The national median cost of a childbirth hospital stay was $13,524 in 2014, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, but most expenses for the birthing person and newborn are covered by health insurance if in network.
‍
*These are estimates based on national averages. Exact costs vary depending upon the care provider.
**These are estimates based on national averages. Exact costs vary depending upon the care provider and individual insurance coverage.
kenya fairley
@kenyathedoula
note
One of our stories this issue features a transfer from home birth to hospital. Transfers happen — and that's okay! Skilled out-of-hospital providers know when to recommend them. Explore some of the best practices at homebirthsummit.org/best-practice-transfer-guidelines

a

home birth

story

beth's story
“Jackson is my second child, and my third pregnancy after a miscarriage — like his brother Shea, he was conceived through IVF, and he was our final embryo.

I knew I wanted to have a home birth with a midwife, and felt confident in my ability to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). When I got up to pee on the morning of my 39th week and felt my water break, I was ecstatic.  

Labor started slowly with lots of walking around the neighborhood with Spencer. The timeline of my labor is very fuzzy, but I know that it was longer than I expected! 

As my labor progressed, I remember feeling like I couldn't get on top of the contractions. I would doze, then awake thinking, "I can’t do this. This is too hard." With Spencer beside me and my doula Ashlie on the floor, I knew something needed to shift. We talked about how we used to go cycling through winding roads and mossy forests, and how I used to get up hills by counting my pedal strokes. I asked Spencer, “would you count for me?” Everything changed with the counting — immediately. I needed the rhythm and ritual of the counting pattern to get me through each contraction. This went on for hours.

As we got to 20, 24, 28 hours, we began to talk about needing more intervention to have this baby. Adrienne gave me an IV with extra vitamins in it for a boost of energy. I had begun to feel the urge to push, but I wasn’t yet fully dilated. Eventually, we decided to go to the hospital and get an epidural — that way I could sleep and regain energy.

Being asked to lay on my back to get the monitors on me was horrible, but once the epidural began to take effect, I was reminded of how helpful pain medication can be when it's necessary. I drifted to sleep.

After around two and a half hours of pushing, the attending suggested using forceps to help the baby out. She explained that she was very skilled with them — I agreed, knowing that the other option was a c-section. I had them wheel a mirror over so I could see the progress I was making with each push. I dug deep and gave even more than I thought I had in me. With the doctor and nurses counting and Spencer and Ashlie cheering me on, I saw his head emerge and exclaimed, “I did it! He’s so big!”
‍
Writing my story really puts into perspective how much I went through to have this baby. Would it have just been easier to have another c-section? I don’t know the answer to that. Everyone has their own birth journey, and their own reasons behind the decisions they make in labor. I do know that I have more strength, power, and determination within me than I ever thought possible.”
Beth, 37
Salt Lake City, UT
photographer: julian marks
picture your birth photography

a

birth center

story

michon's story
“I decided to give birth at a birthing center because of all of the negative reviews I heard about various hospital births. As an African-American woman I am aware of the disparities we face in the healthcare and especially during childbirth. My boyfriend was actually the one who really didn’t want us to got to a hospital. His biggest fear was potentially losing me during childbirth due to physician neglect. I considered a home birth but the birth center had very relaxing rooms and birthing tubs. I am so glad we went that route and look forward to having my future baby there as well.

I labored at home the majority of the day — napping and walking. I communicated with my doula any time there was a change throughout the day. When my contractions got to about 4 minutes apart and the pain significantly increased, my doula told me to contact my midwife. My midwife had me to go to the birth center when my contractions were 3.5 minutes apart. I was 8 centimeters dilated when I arrived and my water broke 10 minutes later. My doula coached me through my contractions, and helped me get comfortable and stay hydrated as I waited for the birthing tub to fill. In the tub, I remember being warm and comfortable. I think the water helped to ease the contractions some. I expected them to get worse after my water broke and the contractions progressed but the pain actually lessened in the water. I was in the tub about 3 hours as I was expecting my body to naturally try to push out baby. That never happened. When my midwife checked me she said that the baby was right there and ready to be pushed. I pushed with my next contraction to get baby to the edge. Her head came out with next push and on the third push she was earthside. It was an amazing experience.

Overall, I loved that with the birth center it wasn’t just about labor and delivery. I felt that my midwife took my concerns seriously and I was a part of every decision making process. I was informed and educated on all of my options or any recommendations. I never felt as if I was being made to do anything. She asked about my overall wellbeing and we had hour long appointments — I wasn’t  just rushed in and out of an office. I honestly felt like family, not like a patient. As a first-time mom I was encouraged to have a doula and take a birthing class. That was very helpful, having a whole birth team that I could communicate with. Giving birth during a pandemic was stressful enough, it was also great to be able to have two support persons plus my doula during my birth."
Michon, 29
Richmond, VA
photographer: cheyenne varner
@cheyvarner

a

hospital birth

story

deonna's story
“My first birth experience wasn’t what I had expected. At 37 weeks I went to the hospital one night not feeling well and found out I was preeclamptic. I was terrified, 20-years-old and not knowing what was going on. They started an induction and the nurses and my support team were great, so getting through the experience turned out to be amazing and my son and I most importantly were healthy in the end. With that being said, with my second pregnancy I knew I wanted to give birth in a hospital again, just in case. 

But I was hoping for a completely different experience. I wanted a midwife and a doula, and I wanted to naturally go into labor at home. My boyfriend James and I had a birth plan. At the 37-week appointment I was about two and a half centimeters dilated. I just knew I would go into labor soon. No... 40 weeks and I was dilated to a 4... Then, I was scheduled to be induced at 41 weeks. 

At 40 weeks and 4 days I woke up with inconsistent mild contractions. Nothing strong enough to go into the hospital. Around 10pm, my water broke. We called our moms, then I called my doctor’s office and spoke to the on-call midwife Brenda, while texting my doula Kiara. I planned to labor at home as long as I could. 

Around 10:40 pm the contractions were every 3 minutes. My mom took my 5-year-old to stay with her. James' mom was ready to follow us to the hospital. After getting settled into triage at 11:26 pm I was 7cm and fully thinned out. My midwife was called because I was progressing so fast and Kiara was on her way. I was moved to the labor and delivery floor and the contractions got stronger and longer. James was by my side talking me through every contraction while rubbing my back, and keeping family updated. 

“Flamingo” was a code word we came up with for requesting pain management medication. By time I thought I couldn’t do it natural, Brenda said I was 9 and a half centimeters. James said, “Nope, it's too late now you got this.” Everyone in the room gave me all the encouraging words I needed to hear. On the next contraction I began pushing. With James, Kiara and the nurse holding me and helping me push, Rhonda recorded our baby's arrival at 12:40 am March 20th, 2021. Our beautiful baby boy was here. Everything went so fast half of my birth plan went right out the window. I wouldn’t have asked for my birth to be any different.

Having people in your corner and understanding the needs you want during labor is going to be the most important. You all have to be on the same page."
DeOnna, 26
Grand Rapids, MI
cherie seah
@earthshinedoula

Planning Ahead
For Postpartum Finances

Preparing for a Fully Funded Parental Leave

When you’re pregnant or adopting and planning ahead for parental leave, there are so many details to consider. It can quickly become overwhelming. The US is the only industrialized country that doesn’t have any maternity or parental leave. Only about 16% of people who are employed have access to an employer sponsored parental leave benefit. And only 10 states currently have a state-wide Paid Family Leave insurance fund. The US does have the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), which is a nonfinancial benefit, for employees who work for an employer with 50 or more employees. This benefit ensures that their job must be saved while taking a 12-week unpaid leave. 

In the absence of federally mandated Paid Family Leave for All, the majority of American families need to plan and self-fund any parental leave that will be taken. If you're trying to figure out how to make leave a reality, here are five key steps to consider:
‍
1

Check Your Benefits.
If you’re employed, meet with the HR department to see if your company offers parental leave benefits and if you’re eligible for short-term disability insurance. Check with your state to see if they have a Paid Family Leave Insurance Fund. Also check to see what your health insurance covers.
2

Budget out expenses for leave.
Whether you’re self-employed or employed you’ll need to budget out your parental leave expenses. Map out the months you plan to step away — outline fixed living expenses like rent/mortgage, utilities, and debt payments as well as variable expenses like groceries, clothes, and baby items you may buy. Once you have that big number add an additional 10-20% for unexpected expenses that may come up.
3

Create a Savings Plan + Strategy.
For families who don’t have 3-6 months of living expenses set aside in an emergency fund (most in the US don’t), create a savings plan to fund the expenses you've tallied in step two. If you’re eligible for Paid Family Leave or Short Term Disability benefits, you can deduct those amounts from the big budget number. Then divide it by the number of weeks in your pregnancy until 36 weeks. The key here is to start as early as possible.
4

Consider Budgeting in Postpartum Comfort & Ease Items.
The newborn period is all about getting through the early months of around-the-clock baby care. Budgeting for helpful services and products such as cleaning, meal prep/delivery, a postpartum doula, a lactation consultant, or bodywork such as massage, acupuncture, or pelvic floor therapy can be incredibly helpful.
5

Make an Off-Boarding + On-Boarding Plan.
If you’re employed, work with your HR department or boss to create an off-boarding plan for parental leave. If someone is filling in for you during your absence you may need to train that person to fill your role. You can also help set expectations of your availability while away on leave. If you’re self-employed, it’s up to you to design an off-boarding plan. Thinking ahead to coming back from parental leave is helpful too, and can help you manage expectations from your employer/boss, or customers/clients.
BY JENNIFER MAYER | She/Her | Jennifer Mayer is a mom of two, a doula, an agency owner, and an Accredited Financial Counselor candidate. Her passion is teaching self-employed parents how to enter parenthood with financial confidence. | IG @fullyfundedx40weeks @jennyleighmayer
sherida hammond
@joli_adore_photography

What's a

Non-Lactating

Parent
To Do?

So your partner or your surrogate just gave birth. Or your adoption just went through, you just started fostering an infant, or you ended up with a baby by one of the myriad other ways people do. But you have a baby now, and you're not lactating. And more to the point, you don’t want to be lactating (because nearly anybody can lactate if they want to, but that’s a whole different article). Maybe someone else in the family is making milk, but feeding your baby doesn’t need to be just one person’s job and you’ve got so much bonding to do! Maybe nobody’s making milk and all the parents can use this info. Bottle feeding is the usual answer, but did you know there are a few other ways to get milk or formula into your little bub? 

‍Disclaimer: Talk to a lactation consultant before trying any of these, just to make sure you’re doing it right. 
SNS (Supplemental Nursing System), also called an ABS (At Breast Supplementer)
This method encourages maximum bonding because your baby is suckling your nipple just like if you were lactating, but the food comes from a feeding tube snuck into the corner of your baby’s mouth. The other end of the tube is in either a bottle, pouch, or feeding syringe. If this sounds a bit complex, that’s because it is and it can definitely take a while to get the hang of it. 

So why bother? Aside from the aforementioned bonding that comes with holding a baby close as they learn to associate your body with warmth and comfort, this method is particularly good for parents who are trying to induce lactation or relactate. 
Finger feeding
This method is similar to an SNS except the feeding tube is taped to a person’s finger instead of near the nipple. This technique is rarely used long-term, but it’s included here because parents using an SNS may need to switch from time to time and I like for people to have as many options as possible. The basic idea is that your baby thinks the finger is a nipple and as they suck they get the milk or formula which is being slowly pushed through a feeding syringe. As with SNS feeding, the technique can be tricky.
Hands need to be extremely clean and fingernails trimmed short. A healthcare provider doing this should have gloves on, but parents doing it daily might decide against gloves. You insert your finger nail-side down to keep it away from the soft palate. If you go too far in you can make your baby gag and might need to calm them before you try again.

If your baby doesn’t open their mouth on their own, gently touching their top lip will usually cause them to reflexively open wide. As soon as you feel the wave-motion of their tongue, either you or someone else can start slowly depressing the plunger on the feeding syringe. They also make syringes for this purpose that have a curved tip, so you can bypass the feeding tube entirely. 

It can take a while to get the hang of; but this technique is particularly good if you’re already doing SNS and someone unfamiliar needs to feed your baby or if your baby is brand new and having trouble feeding, either because of a weak suck or they are having trouble coordinating sucking and breathing. In either case, it is best to get guidance from a lactation consultant.
Spoon or cup feeding
Think of this technique like using a sippy cup for people who are too small to do it on their own. Like the previous method, this is rarely done long-term but can be very helpful when you’re avoiding bottles, or your baby has trouble feeding from a bottle. Basically what you’re doing is allowing your baby to drink from either a small cup (think medicine cup or egg cup) or a regular spoon but instead of pouring milk into your baby’s mouth it’s more like a kitten lapping up milk with the tip of their tongue. There is also a device historically used with preterm babies in India called a paladai that works on a similar principle.
meg ross
@megrossphotography
and when baby is exclusively nursing?
What if your baby is exclusively nursing and pumped milk is going straight into the freezer for later use? If a lactating parent wants to do this and it’s working well, the best thing you can do is to support them. How can you do this? So glad you asked!
1

Help your partner nurse during the day.
I tell people that the first step to being helpful is to say, “What can I do to be helpful?” But if you’re looking for ideas, some good ones are: making sure the comfy space on the couch is clear and clean, keeping snacks and water nearby, and keeping track of how long your baby nursed and on which side (this can go from helpful to annoying real quick so be sure to communicate if it’s actually helpful or feeling micromanage-y.) 
2

Keep track of output.
I’m not saying that only one parent should be responsible for changing diapers, but it is a good idea to have one parent who's responsible for knowing how many wet and BM (bowel movement) diapers there are on a day-to-day basis. Since there’s no way to know exactly how much liquid is going into an exclusively nursing newborn, it’s worth keeping track of approximately how much is coming out. Since this will vary by age and weight, check with your pediatrician or lactation consultant for how many wet and BM diapers your baby is expected to have each day or week.
3

Be the first one up at night.
Sometimes when a baby wakes up at night it means they’re hungry; but sometimes they’re gassy, or startled, or accidentally poked themself in the eye. If a non-lactating parent gets in the habit of being the first one up when your baby cries and only wakes up the lactating parent if your baby shows signs of hunger, then they can help maximize rest for the parent who is probably spending the most time with your baby when the sun is up.
BY JACOB ENGLESMAN | He/Him | Jacob is an IBCLC working in
Atlanta, GA. He specializes in LGBT and poly families working to induce lactation, and trans parents who need lactation support. | website:
www.jacobengelsmanibclc.com
What are signs of hunger? The most common ones are turning the head to one side (also called rooting), lip smacking, and chewing on their cute little fist.
angie klaus
@angieklausphoto

7 Sleep Facts
Every Parent Should Know

Sleep is a big part of parenting a new baby. Yet the gap between cultural expectations and biological norms can leave new parents struggling with what’s normal and how to support sleep. Starting off with realistic expectations drawn from a developmental and evolutionary approach can help you confidently support your new baby’s sleep. 
1. babies are hardwired to stay close.
Our babies are hardwired to need continuous close contact in the early months and that includes sleep. Humans are social sleepers and sleeping near others is normal. Closeness is protective. It supports frequent feeds and regulates body systems such as temperature, breathing, heart rate, and even stress levels.
2. waking at night is normal.
A newborn baby has short sleep cycles with about half of their sleep cycle spent in REM sleep (active dreaming sleep). Young babies wake for frequent feeds as well as the need for touch and connection. Sleeping lightly is protective for babies and sleeping too long and deep is thought to raise the risk of SIDS.
3. newborns do not know their day from night.
In the early months, your baby does not have an established circadian rhythm, the body’s internal 24-hour clock. In the early weeks, sleep is spread evenly between day and night in irregular chunks of time. More sleep shifts to nighttime as you approach 2-3 months, and by 3 months the circadian rhythm begins to develop.
4. sleep development is not linear.
It is not a straight path from frequent wake-ups to long stretches. Sleep ebbs and flows over the early years in response to developmental phases and outside factors. Temperament and genetics also play a role in when your little one sleeps for long stretches consistently. The only thing consistent about babies is that they are consistently changing, sleep included.
5. supporting your baby to fall asleep is biologically normal.
This includes feeding, rocking, and holding to sleep. The idea that babies should be put down drowsy but awake is purely a cultural view. Little ones are hard-wired to need touch, closeness, and connection to feel safe and secure enough to sleep well.
6. babies have physical and emotional needs day and night.
Parenting is a relationship, and half that relationship happens at night. Our little ones don’t stop needing us just because it’s time to sleep. Remember humans are social sleepers so the need to stay connected to you at night is evolutionarily hardwired for survival. Don’t be afraid of nurturing around sleep. Nurturing is a healthy sleep habit.
7. you cannot control sleep.
Sleep is not under your voluntary control. You cannot force someone else to fall asleep any more than you can force yourself to go to sleep. It is not a skill to be taught. It’s a biological function. Your goal as a parent is to support sleep not micro-manage it.
BY KIM HAWLEY, MA, MPH, IBCLC, Certified Holistic Sleep Coach | She/Her | Kim Hawley helps tired parents combine developmental knowledge with their intuition to improve family sleep. Her specialty is holistic, responsive sleep support for babies, toddlers, and nursing families. | IG @intuitive_parenting_dc
Getting back into a solid exercise routine is a huge concern for many women after having a baby. Postpartum exercise can help birthing parents build strength and endurance for the demanding job of parenthood while providing a mental health boost. 

However, jumping into exercise too soon, doing the wrong exercises, or even doing the right exercises incorrectly can prevent your body from healing properly and actually set you back. These mistakes can lead to problems like urinary incontinence, pelvic organ prolapse and diastasis recti.
Start slowly for the first six weeks
It’s important to remember that no matter how your baby came into the world, your body needs time to heal from giving birth and from the changes it went through during pregnancy. You need to take it slowly and progress back into your pre-pregnancy routine, which can take time. 

Right after pregnancy, you’ll focus on your pelvic floor and core, which are both essential for healing from physically giving birth and restoring your pre-pregnancy movement patterns. For the first six weeks, you’ll start slowly with gentle exercises.
kegels
Kegels strengthen your pelvic floor and reconnect it back to your core. This helps protect you from excessive downward pressure, which can lead to prolapse and urinary incontinence.

To start, perform these lying on the ground with and without a bolster or pillow under your butt. Squeeze and lift the muscles around your vagina as if you’re trying to suck a blueberry up and into your vagina. You can even try inserting a finger or tampon to help activate your pelvic floor muscles. 
Abdominal contractions
Pregnancy stretches out your abdominals to make room for your baby. Your core is a part of every movement, so it’s important to learn how to activate it properly before jumping into more difficult exercise. Abdominal contractions are a gentle way to do this. 

Lie on your back and picture pulling the front of your hip bones towards your ribs as if you’re trying to zip up a tight pair of jeans. Think of flexing your belly button to your spine rather than sucking in your stomach. Make sure you continue to breathe while doing this — it’s hard, but maintaining good breathing will help your diaphragm and core work properly together.
Diaphragmatic breathing
Proper breathing not only helps regulate your autonomic nervous system — which assists with our stress response cycle — but it also helps activate your pelvic floor and core. Without proper breathing, the rest of your exercises won’t be nearly as effective. 

This type of breathing should feel like a 360 degree expansion into the front, back, left and right sides of the ribs. As you inhale, think about your ribs expanding in every direction — not just into your belly or upper chest. As you exhale, purse your lips like you’re blowing out candles.
walking
Walking is the only cardio you should be doing in the first six weeks and it’s so important that you start slowly. Start at 12 minutes of walking per day, alternating between walking and resting. Each day, you can add on more minutes of walking until you reach 32 minutes of walking per day. 

This progression gives overzealous moms some boundaries to prevent them from doing too much too soon. It’ll help slowly ease your body into movement.
maggie callaghan
@femme.fertility

‍
Add in resistance at six weeks
Many birthing parents are cleared for exercise at six weeks after a vaginal birth and eight weeks after a C-section. At this point, you can start adding in resistance exercises to start activating your deeper muscles, which helps you build a foundation for more strenuous exercises like running. (Sorry mamas, no running just yet!)
‍
The first two weeks of resistance training should feel easy. You’ll still want to focus on your pelvic floor and core, but we’ll also start to add in upper and lower body strengthening and flexibility.
lower body
A strong lower body supports your entire body. During pregnancy, your center of gravity shifts, your gait changes, and you lose the movement patterns that are necessary for that support.

Focusing on stretching and strengthening your legs will help your body restore your pre-pregnancy movement patterns. 
Try these exercises to start:
  • Bodyweight squats
  • Side lying lateral leg raise
  • Bodyweight bridge
  • Quadricep, hip flexor, hamstring stretches
upper body
As your belly expands during pregnancy, your body falls out of alignment. Your back muscles tighten to compensate for your stretching abdominals, your upper back starts to hunch over from the weight of your belly, and your pec muscles tighten from your changing posture. 

Fixing these imbalances will help your body return to its natural alignment, which is vital to properly healing and preparing your body for more vigorous exercise. 
Try these exercises to start:
  • Bent over reverse fly with dumbbells
  • Bent over rows with dumbbells
  • Resistance band pull aparts
  • Chest stretch in doorway
Now that you’ve properly progressed and strengthened your pelvic floor, core, and upper and lower body, you can start to think about adding in more rigorous exercise like running. We don’t recommend picking up running again until twelve weeks postpartum when your muscles are strong enough to support you. 

Continuing with strength training is also a must, since the new tasks of motherhood can put a lot of stress on your body. With breastfeeding, baby wearing, and everything in between, you need a strong body in order to prevent pain and eventual injury. 

Whatever your favorite form of exercise is, taking it slowly and progressing back into your pre-pregnancy routine is a must. It can be so tough to take it slow, but just remember that progression is key to meeting your long term fitness goals. 
BY AMY KIEFER + KRYSTLE HOWALD | She/Her + She/Her | Sisters and business partners, Amy + Krystle created the Expecting and Empowered Pregnancy and Postpartum Workout Guides, taking you from your positive pregnancy test until you are healed postpartum. | IG @expectingandempowered
gather birth cooperative
@gatherbirth
A Brighter Birth @abrighterbirth • Sage Caprice Abowitt @sagecaprice • Natima Alexander @Natima.a • Elaine Allen • TR L Andrew @mystickitten • Marina Angelicola  @mama_marina_birthservices • Erica Angert @ericathedoula • Lindsay Askins @spotofserendipity • Megan Barnette @yellowvallen • Monica Basile @mapleseedbirth • Jodi Bean @TheMamaGut • Lauren Bennett @laurenestudios • Elise Benoit @doulaelise • Asteir Bey • Camille Birckhead • Kelli Blinn @doulakelliblinn • Rebecca Blue • Bon Secours Richmond OBGYN • Anna Bonick @brbirthcenter • Catherine Boshe @cboshe • Sylvia Hannah Boudali @sylviahannah_rn • Lisa N. Brown • James River OBGYN • Ashley Buchanan @ashleyregala.doula • Liz Buehler Walker @lizbyogalife • Jenifer B. Buice • Katie Byron birthwithkatie.com • Jordyn Calderon • Katie Candelaria • Megan Chadwick @meganchadwick_doula • Amanda Chandler MommaBearMidwifery.com • Joyce Clark Birthing Heirs • Richelle Clayton @FromPregnantToParent • Sarah Cole @sagemamarva • Jessica Connor @doula.jc • Micah D. R. Bower @ClutchMamas • Kizzi David @Stayputdoulaservices  • Betsy Delgadillo @delgadillobetsy • Alison DOleo-Lundgren @doulaluz • Alison Doyle  @organicmothers • Connie Eatman @sewcuteconnie • Rachel Emery @clovercaredoula • Lizz Fay @wellspringmidwifery • Anais Fournier  • Enola Frank @Kaija.ekka • HCAVA Physicians OBGYN Associates • Heather Fulton-House Breathefirstdoula.com • Lonimarie Futrell @lonniiimarie • Acadia Gantz @trailrunningbabycatcher • Yarilias Garcia Ramos @Partoencasapuertorico • Kimberly Gomez • Jenise Griffin @Divinegrowthandwombwellness • Michelle Grosodonia Maiola @Via.mirabella  • Molly Haight @Love_haight • Kaely Harrod @harroddoula • Sarah Hendricks @douliferva  • Chelsea Higgs Wise @chelseahiggswise • Kelsey Irvin @Kelseytirvin • Desiree Israel @motherlandco • Tonquise Jabari Evans @prende.pants • Heather Jackson @saltgrassdoula • Senecea Jefferson  • Rikki Jenkins @sacredjourneylv • Claudia Jennings @minnesotabirthcenter • Kania Johnson @solpurpose_doula • Meldon Jones @themeldon • Makeda Kamara @makedakamara • Kailee Karst @mindfulmovement-pt.com • Jess Krueger @zmiana.birthwork • Haikanarumi Lara @Haikanarumi • Brea Laroche  • Terrie Lemley www.gentlemidwifery.com • Courtney Leos @cbleos_ • Renee Loper  • Anne Leslie Lytle @nurturerva • Rebecca Macarro @rebeccamacarro
Alyson Mancini @Alymdoula4 • Megan Mancke @beeessentiallyblessed • Maimunah Marah @Sahara.Edu • Erika Matkovich @thematernalsidekick • Kara McCall @creative_carrot • Lauren McClain @nky_doula • Pahnelopi Mckenzie • Laisha Michel www.readysetlatchgo.com • Nicole Miles @nicky_doula_lactation • Stephanie Millholland @thesj180herself • Kaitlyn Mole queermidwife • Danielle Moora www.lionessdoulaservices.com • Audrey Mumey • Jennifer Nicol @doulajensf • Jenny Tucker O'Konski @Jennyaok • Emerald Ortiz @SacredWombanhood • Quatia Osorio @ourjourn3i • Christina Owens @EVaHomebirthLLC • Collin Parsons @douladifferently • Sarah Pedersen @fullcircle_doula • Kim Pekin @premierbirth • Valerie Pelletier @valeriedoulamtl • Melissa Pena @hiphip_hippie • Alaina Pirie • Hillary Powell @midwifepending • Tamoyia Ragsdale @ashavillage • Kristi Ramey @richmondbirthandbaby • Tavia Redburn @_thebeautyinbirth_ • Deaudrea Rich @deaudrearich • Andrew Rich @theandrewaugust • Richmond Birth Services www.richmondbirthservices.com • Celia Roach @thraed • Bailey Robinson @thedoulabailey • Claire Sandberg @nurture_nourish_yoga • Katie Sanderson @khamsand81 • Melissa Scaggs @mkscaggs • Aaron Schilling • Jacqueline Sears @Empowerednicuparenting • Jennifer Sestak @strength_and_dignity_birth • Allison Sheehan @Asheehan22 • Lisley Siqueira @eventidedoula • John Sorbera @alisonsorbera • Marissa Speer @Manyflowersmedicine • Tia Stark @starkincorporated • Rayna Degree Starling @birth_new_beginning • Emily Stegweit @emilystegweit.mta • Kathy Stewart www.abpdoulatrainingcenter.com • Lisa Taylor @birthmattersnyc • Cindy Terranova @treeoflifenj • Tichanda Thompson @birthworkuntd • Tamara Naomi Thompson • Delaine Tiniakos-Doran workwithdelaine.ca • Jessica Marie Turner @purplechaircrochet • Kristy Valdez @creativecusp • Sarah Van Horn @golden_hour_doula • Jessica Vanderberg @_momtown_ • Miesha Vargas • Virginia Physicians for Women • West End OBGYN www.westend-obgyn.com • Donna Westcott  • Jennifer Whetsell • Yvonne Whetsell • Heather Whitten @Thisunrulylife • Luar Adonis Wolf @ littlemoonlightdoula • Jyesha Wren @beblkcentering • Melissa Yeager www.openarmsbc.com

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masthead

Cheyenne Varner
Founder & Executive Editor

Janice Formichella
Associate Editor
‍
Sofia Cruz
Intern

Founding Team
Sarah Choi, Marketing consultant | Virginia Strobach, illustrator | DeAudrea Rich, photography consultant | Maria Oya X, inclusivity consultant

contributors
Nourishing Herbs for pregnancy
Jovan Sage

Field Guide to Having a baby
janice Formichella

Reggie Reflects on pregnancy + birth in 2020
regina Adewunmi

Home, Birth Center, and Hospital Birth: Intro
Kenya Fairley

Home, Birth Center, and Hospital Birth Stories
Bethy Hardy; michon Phillips; DeOnna Fowler

A Fully funded postpartum
jennifer mayer
‍
what's a non-lactating parent to do?
jacob englesman

a full day's food: 3 healthy perinatal meals
nina-marie rueda, fNTP
‍
7 Sleep facts every parent should know
Kim hawley
‍
postpartum movement
amy kiefer + krystle howard
photographers
diana hinek
‍cover image

bianca macauley
print Page 3

meg ross
print Pages 6, 30

victoria allen
print Page 7

brooke roberts
print Page 9

sarah marquis
print Page 11

brenda amaya
print Page 12

linda allen
print Page 13

joshua kissi
print Page 14

luz silva
print Page 18

julian marks
print Pages 20-21

cheyenne varner
print Pages 22-23

cherie seah
print Pages 26

Sherida hammond
print Pages 29
‍
angie klaus
print Pages 39

gather birth cooperative
print Pages 44

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