The Safest Place to Birth was Home (A Story from a Black INFJ Woman)

The following is an excerpt from Lauren’s blog (@renthedoula):

I knew that if I chose to be a home-birth mother, I would be judged. Not only that, if something went wrong I would be dealing with birth trauma and possibly issues during postpartum. I decided to play it as safe as I could, especially since home births were pretty much illegal in the state of Maryland at the time. Not only would I follow my midwife, but I would also build a relationship with a doctor, who would deliver my baby if necessary.

Through our research, I realized that I didn’t want the hospital experience. I remembered how uncomfortable my hospital stay was during the handful of experiences I already had. The feeling of being a patient was not what I wanted for this birth. I envisioned myself lying on my back and surrounded by people who didn’t know or understand me. As a black woman, I understood my risk. I understood that I could be a possible target just by walking in and being vulnerable. I understood that our country and medicine were founded on the enslavement of my ancestors. I knew that if I was in the depth of birth, I could possibly be hearing side conversations from other people in the room, because they may not empathize with me. I might not be the person of interest, and since I understood how powerful labor felt, I did not want that for myself…